Physical Boundaries

In the most literal sense, your skin is a physical boundary that delineates what is ‘you’ versus what is ‘not you.’

Physical boundaries are also about what type of physical and/or sexual contact you are okay with.  The following are some examples of questions to ponder regarding your physical boundaries.

What is the amount of physical distance (or personal space) are you comfortable with? How does this change in personal relationships vs professional relationships?

Are you someone who enjoys physical affection – hugs, pats on the shoulder, handshake, holding hands?

What are your sexual boundaries? How quickly do you engage in sex with others?  Is sex used for relationship building or for earning a living? What type of sex and how often? All of these are indications of your sexual boundaries.

Boundaries can and should depend o the type of relationship you have with someone. The physical affection and closeness you allow with a partner will not be the same as what you allow with your boss. If there is no differentiation based on relationship type this could be the result of childhood trauma.

We teach people what our boundaries are by telling them no, asking them to back up, saying “I’m not okay with this, but I am okay with that.” Your values and goals are what drive how and when we assert our boundaries.