Trauma

Attachment trauma teaches us to feel profound shame. This shame may hide under a thin veneer of what we know on a cognitive, rational level. That does not mean that our bodies, our hearts, or our nervous systms have gotten the memo. That is why…

I recently finished this beautiful fantasy book, Strange the Dreamer, by Laini Taylor. And in this book was this quote, “He looked him right in the eyes and saw a man who was great and good and human, who had done extraordinary things and terrible…

In the work that I do with traumatized folks, I find that there is often a fear of conflict. I think this is something that we learn in our American culture, and that gets heavily reinforced in toxic families. This makes sense, in unhealthy families…

Attachment trauma and wounding can feel like this: Like imposter syndrome, but for your life. It is knowing that anyone taking a look into your life and into your home would see a nice normal family, no visible abuse or harm occurring. And yet you…

From birth we are wired to connect and to turn to our attachment figures for emotional regulation and safety. This is why betrayal trauma is so damaging, at any age. We should be able to rely on our caretakers to be loving and good enough…

I just finished a lovely fantasy novel written by Hannah Whitten, called For the Wolf, and in it the young woman, Red, loses her mother and she says, “I don’t think I can mourn her…I mourn the idea of her, maybe. The gap between what…