Healing struggles

We don’t talk nearly enough about the later stages of healing when you are aware of your unhealthy patterns and how you are trying to be healthier and then you are faced with a gray area, where you can see that it might be healthy, or it might be old patterns.

This is a totally legitimate quandary and often the answer is that there may be elements of both the healthy new learning and unhealthy old patterns that might be getting activated.

If you have someone who knows you and is a healthy sounding board, it can be helpful to get an outside opinion. A therapist is a good bet for this one.

And if you don’t have that or are trying to figure things out in the moment, I will encourage my clients to lean into the healthy side.

When you feel a pull towards old patterns and learning, that is a yellow flag to slow down. And when in doubt lean towards the option that is supported by your new knowledge and how you are trying to show up differently in the world.

And no matter what you choose, remember that this is all about learning and growing. You will not do this perfectly; in fact you cannot do it perfectly. This is a perfect time to practice some self-compassion.

You can do this.