Attachment trauma and wounding can feel like this:
Like imposter syndrome, but for your life. It is knowing that anyone taking a look into your life and into your home would see a nice normal family, no visible abuse or harm occurring.
And yet you hurt, and you don’t feel you have any right to that hurt. You don’t feel like you fit, like you are wearing a mask at all times, but don’t know it.
Like you are a walking wound, sensitive to even the slightest touch. Like you are desperate for someone to see you, your pain. And at the same time, being terrified of being seen, because you know you are shameful and no one must ever see.
It can be its own type of hell, because you know there is something is wrong, but there is nothing to point to and say “here.”
But it is real, and it is true, and it is valid.