Betrayal trauma

From birth we are wired to connect and to turn to our attachment figures for emotional regulation and safety.

This is why betrayal trauma is so damaging, at any age.

We should be able to rely on our caretakers to be loving and good enough parents, but not all of us are so fortunate.

It is in relationship that betrayal trauma happens, and it is going to be in relationship that it will heal. That might be within a new loving and partnered relationship, it might be in relationship to an animal companion, it might be in a therapeutic relationship, it might be in relationship to a mentor figure, and it might be in relationship to a god or higher power.

Regardless, you can find safer relationships, it is not hopeless, even if it seems daunting.

And I am shifting my language from safe relationships to safer relationships, in acknowledgment of the fact that the idea of safety or a safe relationship may be a completely foreign concept to some and feel completely unrealistic.

I always endeavor to make my therapeutic relationship safe, but give I am human working with another human, mistakes and misattunement can happen. But is always my goal to make things safer, or safe enough for trust and healing to occur.