Dissociation

Dissociation is a form of disconnection or not knowing.

All people utilize dissociation to some degree, those who have been traumatized are more likely to use dissociative coping strategies.

Dissociation can be a disconnection from a memory so that the person does not remember the incident at all. The memory is still there, but the neural pathways to it are disconnected from the rest of your memories, the connections remain hidden.

Another way one might dissociate is to remember the incident, but not have access to the emotions associated with the memory. This is often something I see in clients when they can unemotionally and easily recite their trauma.

This is not necessarily a sign of healing or having accepted or processed the trauma, sometimes it is another version of disconnect.

Non-realization, which is a disconnection from the full weight and meaning of a memory, an experience, etc.

It is one thing to know you didn’t have great parents. It is another to fully realize that your parents’ did not know how to love you or see you for who you are and how that has led to a gaping hole of need in your life for love and validation. The first is knowing, the second is realization.