George Bernard Shaw Quote

As George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

I think there is wisdom in this, and I also believe in both finding and creating ourselves.

When trauma has happened, when you’ve grown up in an invalidating, toxic, or abusive environment you learn to be what you need to be to survive.

Therefore, part of healing is finding who you are underneath all of that conditioning.

And all of us are creating ourselves each day in every choice and decision we make.

Each of us is in constant evolution and if you can remember this, it can help reframe where you are at when you feel stuck or like there are parts of yourself you are not happy with. Who you are today is not a life sentence if you don’t want it to be.

The aspects of self you inherited and took on from unhealthy caretakers is not a life sentence either.

I believe this is an aspect in which those who are queer, and especially those who are trans or non-binary have an advantage to others. You have had to put a lot of thought and reflection into who you are, how others see you and how you want to be seen and known in the world.

Those of us who are cisgender and/or heterosexual are never forced to really think about these things, we are not forced to unpack what it means to be a particular gender, and the messages we have received about it through our families and the media.

May you keep creating yourself into a truer, healthier and happier version of yourself every day.