Quote by Nicole Moss
On the podcast, Dear White Women (episode 77), Nichole Moss says, “My biggest legacy will hopefully be something I said to someone… Because honestly, if you go through struggles and you don’t share it with people, it will eat you inside. So talk about it with people freely. Share what you’ve been through. Speak and own your joy and your pain, and therefore it doesn’t own you.”
I really resonate with this idea of speaking your truth so that you own it and it doesn’t own you.
I find it is much more likely that people will put on a mask and pretend that they are fine, or minimize their experience for fear of being attention seeking, than to actually being attention seeking.
And if you are in pain, doesn’t that deserve our attention, our compassion, and our care?
The more we speak our truths, the more we normalize this, because having to put on a mask is exhausting and related to all kinds of dysfunction, including problematic dissociation.
There is a great conversation happening in autistic and neurodivergent spaces about the negative affects of masking, and I think this is a needed conversation for all of us.
I understand that there may be times and places that you feel the need to mask for safety. The holidays and being around family might be on of those times for queer and trans folks.
But we should not expect this of others as a way of life. There can be value in the idea of fake till you make it, but again, this should not be an expectation.
The more we can hold space for authenticity in our society, the healthier it will be for everyone.
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