@TraumaTherapySD

@TransAffirm

  • Quote from Dr Lord

    There is often a point in healing from the past that we get in touch with some compassion and understanding for those who have caused us harm.

    This may be a greater compassion and understanding for their limits, their own struggles, and unhealed wounds.

    That does not necessitate having contact with them. You can have compassion and understanding and remain firm in boundaries around no contact.

    Those choices and boundaries were set for good reason, and simply having a new view of them does not mean they have changed or that your boundaries need to.

    It is okay to even love them as other human beings in this world, and again that does not mean it is healthy or appropriate to have contact.

    I really feel the need to stress this as our society gives a very different message and I think people who have attachment trauma with their family can feel a pull to re-engage when they come to this new understanding and/or compassion.

    That pull is very understandable, and just like any other feeling, thought, or impulse, does not actually require you to act on it. Take your time in thinking about if reconnecting is safe, healthy or appropriate for you.

    Is there any new information or suggestion that those people have changed? Have they educated themselves regarding gender identity or done any of their own healing?

    There is no right or wrong answer, only what works for you.