Secure Attachment

Secure attachment develops when a child’s caregiver is regularly attuned and nurturing and functions as a safe base for the infant to explore their environment.

This secure attachment is based upon the accumulation of all the successes and failures in interactions between infant and caregiver. As regards the failures or ruptures that occur in the relationship, what matters is not that a rupture occurred, but how it was repaired.

And this is an important point to highlight. Attachment is cumulative. No parent is perfect and not attunement to a child is perfect at all times. Good, healthy caregivers absolutely mess up, regularly.

Parents don’t have to be perfect, that’s why we talk about ‘good enough’ parenting. There will always be missteps because we are human, the goal is to simply be good enough.

Children with secure attachment styles grow into adults who are generally at ease with themselves and others and are realistic about the strengths and weaknesses in themselves and others.