Time orientation – power & choice

Time orientation skills involve reminding yourself that you are in the here-and-now, rather than in the there-and-then.

There are several categories of time orientation skills: time, distance, power, choice, & comfort.

Focusing on the categories of power & choice is about reminding yourself of all the ways in which you have power and choices now, that you didn’t have when you were going through your traumatic experience(s).

One way to do this is to think about the physical power & capability of your body now.

What can you do now as a fully grown adult that you simply couldn’t as a child?

Can you run farther or faster away if needed?

Can you get in a car or on a bus to get away?

Do you have mobility aids to help you get around in a way you didn’t as a child?

Notice the height of your physical body or the size of your hands. How much more powerful are you now than back then?

What are you wearing on your adult body, that you wouldn’t have been able to wear back then? Is it something that affirms your gender? Your style? What makes you feel comfortable?

Think of all the choices you now have the power to make as an adult that you didn’t back then.

You can likely come & go as you please.

Your car keys might be a good reminder of that power.

You can take yourself to the doctor, or therapy, or the park or a friend’s place whenever you want/need.

You may have access to the choices that money affords in a way you never did as a child.

You likely have access to money, credit cards, & bank accounts that give you much more power over your choices and options than you had as a child or when you were in a controlling relationship, etc.

Taking out your wallet to notice these might help re-orient you to the present.

You have a phone that you can use to call for help or support any time you need to.

And you may have gotten to choose the cell phone you use, the mobile plan, the case, etc. Take it out and notice those details that you chose.

Those are all choices you were not likely given as a child.

What are some of the other choices you get to make for yourself now that you couldn’t before?

Is it the music you listen to or the shows you watch?

Is it your name or pronouns?

Is it your friends or hobbies?

Is it what you eat or drink & how much you are allowed to eat or drink?

Remember, not all of these ideas will resonate with you. That’s okay, the important part is finding the ones that do work for you and using those when you notice that you’re reacting or responding from a place of trauma time.