Earned Attachment

In the past I’ve written about attachment styles and how they result from a pattern of parenting styles and interactions that folks/folx have with their primary caregivers.

In adulthood these attachment styles are secure, insecure, and avoidant. But what if you recognize your way of attaching is less healthy for you and want to change it, is that possible?

The answer is yes, attachment styles can change across time as our experiences with loved ones change, and there is also a category referred to as earned secure attachment.

Attachment theorists believe that finding a secure base, such as a romantic partner, teacher, boss or therapist, can provide, over time, the corrective experience to shift an insecure attachment to a secure attachment. Research has supported this idea.

All of this to say, that you are not stuck in an less than secure attachment style. It is not a life sentence but a current reflection of your style of relating.