• Feelings are not facts

    Emotions and feelings are important and provide useful information to us. However, we get in trouble when we believe that our feelings are the same things as facts.

    And just to be 100% clear, a person’s feelings are their feelings. They are always valid and I am not suggesting that people don’t feel how they feel. At the same time, just because you feel afraid on a roller coaster, does not mean that you are in actual danger.

    When people are raised in dysfunctional, abusive or neglectful homes their brains are often operating as though they are in life or death situations, even when the situation is not actually this dire. Sometimes the way they were raised has led them to distrust people in general, that does not mean that no one can be trusted.

    Sometimes the information that our feelings are telling us is that we still have some issues to work though from childhood. Just being mindful of this fact and open to the idea that there may be another way to look at things is important. Having a therapist to help you unpack and look at the situation and your feelings can be really important to help get a handle on this type of distortion.

    As a therapist who does a lot of this type of work, I invite you to check out the link in my bio for more information about me and my practice.

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