This internal conflict in those with either a single trauma or complex trauma is quite common.
The more unconscious this conflict is, the more precarious recovery can be as the person is likely to feel or believe that no conflict exists, and then act accordingly.
But if the desire to proclaim their hurt out loud is denied, then the incident(s) can get buried and start festering. Keeping things in also sends the message to ourselves that what happened was shameful, which only adds to the suffering.
If the desire to deny those events is ignore, then the person might be spilling out their trauma to anyone who will listen, not ensuring that they are safe or supportive people. This can lead to further hurt and betrayal by those who were told.
Even when people come into therapy to work on their trauma history this conflict is there. That is normal and must be talked about and space must be held for both needs.
You are not a bad person or a bad client if you experience this conflict. You are someone who was traumatized and needs the space held for all the different parts of you, all the different needs, all the different emotions you feel.