• Quote by Debra Wesselmann

    Have you ever noticed how this is true? You can know something from your rational mind, from the adult part of self, AND at the same time believe something completely different at an emotional level?

    This happens when we internalize negative messaging from childhood about ourselves and our worth from dysfunctional adults.

    Sometimes we are lucky enough as we age to recognize that these negative beliefs are not true and came from unhealthy, toxic, or abusive caregivers.

    But even so, it can be really hard to shake these beliefs emotionally. In a felt sense in our bodies.

    So, if you grew up, assigned female at birth, but identified as female and your family that told or made you feel that it was not okay to be interested in “boy stuff” like rough and tumble play, or video games, or dinosaurs, this negative messaging might last into adulthood.

    This can be true even if you have been free to live more authentically and congruently. You may find that you still hold yourself back in some ways from fully and authentically being the man that you are because of these messages, because there is a younger part of self that still feels it is bad, wrong, or not safe to do so.

    Talking about that in therapy can help, and taking steps to allow yourself to do enjoy these things can make a big difference. But sometimes these fears and beliefs are so deeply held that talking about it is not enough to shift how those younger parts of self feel.

    For this you need to get at the subconscious mind and the best way that I know to do that is with EMDR therapy.  EMDR therapy can help you shift that dysfunctional, negative felt-sense of who you are into something more adaptive and based in reality.

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