The notion that there can be an objective, unbiased observer is a fallacy. The very act of observation affects what is being observed.
This is obvious to anyone who has ever struggled with performance anxiety. It has even been observed on the subatomic level. In a study published in Nature in 1998, researchers in Israel demonstrated that the act of ‘watching’ a beam of electrons affects how those electrons behave.
The simple act of watching has an effect, and this is why the simple act of looking with love at a child has a profound effect on them and them on you. This is one of the foundations of attachment.
This is why it makes no sense to me that some people can see others mistreated and not take action. That inaction has an impact. It often has a more profound affect on someone than the mistreatment itself. This is why children are sometimes more angry and betrayed by the non-offending family member than the abuser.
We are all inextricably linked. Our existence has a tangible effect on those around us, regardless of what we do or say. And that gives me hope. Sometimes I hear people discouraged about systemic problems and how small and ineffective they are. But it you know that everything you say and do changes things around you. You create a ripple of change and that ripple can grow.
You are not powerless and there is hope for change, for yourself and for the world.