Often the folks I work with have learned to be someone other than themselves. Sometimes it is because of the body they were born with and the family they were born into. Sometimes it is because of the trauma they experienced growing up.
They learn to hide who they really are to protect themselves, to be someone they are not.
In my experience this false self has an expiration date. A date after which it is too painful or exhausting to continue the façade. It is okay if you needed a façade to survive. But once it is no longer needed it may be difficult to know how to put it down and who you really are. That is when therapy and/or a chosen family can be so helpful.
Learning to be your true, authentic self can be scary and it takes a ton of courage to be vulnerable like that. To those of you trying to figure it out, I see you. Keep it up, you are doing great!