Quote by Maya Angelou

Once again, Maya Angelou’s words speak to the heart of matters. So often when we encounter a defeat, we feel that we ourselves, in our entirety are defeated. It can be hard to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and take a step back to see what we can learn so that we can do better next time. I

It is often these defeats that have much to teach us about ourselves. But at the time of the defeat, it hurts, none of us are immune to that. This hurt can then overwhelm us and distract us from the reality that it is simply ‘a’ defeat. If we get stuck in feeling we are defeated, that is when it becomes unhealthy. And so often with the folks I work with, they have been set up by an abusive, toxic family system or, by society in general to face defeats because they were not given the same skills, the same opportunities, or the same support as others. So, it is easy to get bogged down in that feeling of despair and defeat.

But once you start surrounding yourself with more positive people who can help you see the lesson in the defeat, the strengths that you bring to the table and to then next fight, the more you are able to pull yourself out of that negative mindset. You may suffer a defeat, but it is up to you if you want to be defeated. And if you find that you are needing help in this area, find a good therapist.