Quote from Ben Harper’s Ground on Down
Attachment trauma, hurt that comes from the relationships people have with their families can be quite deep and difficult to articulate.
Something that I hear from my clients quite often is that their parents did the best that they could, or how their parents loved them. And they are often quite right in this assessment.
But it does not negate that although their intentions were good, or they had love in their heat, that their actions were harmful.
Both can be true. Unfortunately, the emphasis on intentions are what others in the family or society focus on to dismiss or gaslight people. These folks are asked understand and have compassion for those who hurt them and are not extended the same consideration.
In order to heal it will be important to acknowledge the hurt that was caused by the actions taken.