Quote by Brené Brown

Perfectionism is generally unhealthy for us. Perfectionism often hinders people with anxiety from ever starting a project for fear it will not be perfect, or they get lost in the planning stage, again, because it needs to be perfect.

And perfectionism tends to be driven by that feeling that we are not good enough, the work will not be good enough.

This shame and feeling of inadequacy is usually rooted in childhood, in growing up in dysfunctional families where this message was given again and again.

This is why children who grew up in toxic or abusive homes try to be the perfect partner. There is a fear that they won’t be accepted for who they are naturally, so they need to try to be perfect. ////That is why individuals who come out related to their gender or sexuality sometimes feel the need to present as the perfect version of a trans woman, a lesbian, a bisexual, etc. There is a fear that they won’t be accepted for who they are naturally, so they need to try to be perfect.

But none of us are perfect and trying to achieve that can lead to further feelings of failure and shame. That is why the recovery movement encourages ‘progress not perfection’ and I think this should be the goal for all of us. Striving to be better or healthier versions of ourselves instead of perfect ones.