The traditional thinking and models of attachment focus on the relationship between the child and their caregivers. As I’ve mentioned previously, there is also the Nested Model of attachment and trauma proposed by Jessica Fern in her book polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy. The…

Sadie is slowly adjusting to the newest addition to our furry family – Samson

As one of my clients recently put it, EMDR is the gift that keeps on giving. Ther is the obvious benefit in the session when EMDR reprocessing helps to desensitize a painful memory and help someone find a more adaptive belief about themselves, other or…

Disorganized attachment develops when the caregivers are sources of fear, and it’s highly correlated with abuse. These caregivers may be terrifyingly over-responsive or frighteningly unresponsive, or may vacillate between these two. Caregivers who are consistently contradictory in their communication can create disorganized attachment, such as…

   Boundaries don’t fail. We can fail to share our boundaries. We can fail in following through on enforcing our boundaries. But when someone doesn’t like or respect our boundaries doesn’t mean they’ve failed. Just because you feel uncomfortable when setting a boundary or uncomfortable…

Owning who you are is power. If you can learn to own every part of you, the light and the dark, that is power. If you can learn to own who you are then it cannot be used against you (emotionally). The powers that be,…