Trauma

I like this quote because it speaks to a number of things that I see in trauma work every day. It is not uncommon for people to remember their traumatic experiences in a very detached clinical way, and the work we do will be to…

Ever heard the saying Sticks and stone can break my bones but words can never hurt me? Well, it is totally wrong. Words can and do hurt. And this idea that they don’t perpetuates a lot of further harm to victims an downplaying the effects…

10/9 quote pink square abusers are terrible to everyone (abused tend to get into abusive rel We sometimes do a disservice to tell survivors that those who’ve been abused are more likely to find themselves in an abusive relationship again. This can make some folks…

Trauma recovery is not always about getting back to who you were before trauma. For some folks there was no before to get back to. There is much truth to the idea that healing in trauma is getting back to who you were before, unlearning…

As Judith Herman warned back in 1992, “It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear and speak no evil. The victim, on the…

In Patricia DeYoung’s Understanding and Treating Chronic Shame she talks about how growing up in chaotic, toxic and/or abusive home environments can lead children to cope by using caretaking or controlling. This is one way in which people pleasing develops. And it works to some…