Disorganized attachment develops when the caregivers are sources of fear, and it’s highly correlated with abuse. These caregivers may be terrifyingly over-responsive or frighteningly unresponsive, or may vacillate between these two. Caregivers who are consistently contradictory in their communication can create disorganized attachment, such as…

   Boundaries don’t fail. We can fail to share our boundaries. We can fail in following through on enforcing our boundaries. But when someone doesn’t like or respect our boundaries doesn’t mean they’ve failed. Just because you feel uncomfortable when setting a boundary or uncomfortable…

Owning who you are is power. If you can learn to own every part of you, the light and the dark, that is power. If you can learn to own who you are then it cannot be used against you (emotionally). The powers that be,…

The ACES study was conducted here in San Diego between 1995-97 and was spearheaded by Vincent Felitti, MD.  This study was conducted with 17,000 participants and clearly demonstrated a link between adverse childhood experiences and later health, social and behavioral problems. What I want to…

Attachment is the interpersonal bond between child and caregiver that is developed through the accumulation of all the successes and failures in the caregiver meeting the child’s physical and emotional needs. From this relationship with our original caregivers, we develop working models of what we…

Given recent statements by RFK about Autistic individuals and the suggested creation of a registry for them, I feel the need to say a few things. Autistic people most certainly can and do have form meaningful attachments and relationships. His suggestion that they will never…